David Letterman Top Ten Lists by Me (Or: Look! I Can Write Clean Things Too!)

Written for my comedy independent study. Enjoy.

Top Ten TV Shows Looking To Feature Jon Gosselin
10. Family Guy
9. How I Met Your Mother- and then divorced her in front of all of America
8. The Biggest Loser
7. America’s Next Top Ed Hardy Model
6. Who Wants To Be A Millionaire (So Badly They Ruin Their Homelife)?
5. 1 vs. 100,000,000
4. Lost … Dignity
3. True Life: I’m Horrible
2. Jon and Kate Minus Kate Divided By Custody Plus Sadness
1. The Jay Leno Show

Top Ten Things We See On The Laptop of the Person in Front of Us
10. Myspace, Facebook, Twitter: Anything but LinkedIn.
9. Pictures of kittens. Thousands.
8. Writing an anti-capitalist tirade on her $2000 Macbook.
7. Editing the Wikipedia page for The Jonas Brothers; a subject he seems to know a lot about.
6. Sending an e-mail about how he was once the prince of Nigeria until a coup. Now he just needs a small investment…
5. Comparison shopping for the Sarah Palin memoir, but can’t find anyone giving it away for free.
4. Tweeting every three seconds about how hard it is to focus in class with all the tweeting she has to do.
3. Writing a rather inappropriate fan-fiction about Harry Potter and his “close friend” Hagrid the giant.
2. Obsessively changing his desktop wallpaper between two solid colors.
1. Blogging about the weird dude breathing heavily behind her.

Copyright © 2009 Brian Regan. All rights reserved.

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