If you put auto-playing music on your tumblr, you and I are finished. FINISHED. This isn’t 2003, etiquette has made huge leaps when it comes to what’s expected on the Internet.

“Mama Said Kick Ass (LL Cool J vs The Prodigy)” by DJTOPCAT

You know, the source material isn’t some of my favorite work by either of these artists, but this mashup absolutely works. Uplifting and aggressive, here’s a song to blast when you’re stepping up to the plate.

Milton Levine, inventor of the modern ant farm, passed away on January 16th.

Since I love ants, here’s one of my favorite facts:

The total combined biomass of humanity is estimated at about 335,000,000 tons. The total biomass of all the ants in the world is estimated to be between 900,000,000 and 9,000,000,000 tons.

In other words: at the very least, there are enough ants in the world that every person could have three doppelgangers made of ants. Excuse me I have to go live in fear of ants now.

I think Julia Stiles and I would be good friends. Maybe I just love husky voices. it is a mystery

I recently hit 1,000 posts on this tumblr and I’ve apparently been updating it for almost two and a half years. Not stoppin’ yet!

Anyway, we were talking and I sort of asked what were we actually talking about. I mean, close friends or very close friends, and she just laughed. You know how she’d look at us like she knew exactly where we were going when we said we were going to a friend’s house for the afternoon but we were really going to drink Boone’s Farm and skinny-dip at the quarry? Well, she looked just like that and she took my hand. Her hand was so light, El. And she said that the three of them loved each other, each differently, and that they were both amazing men, each special, each deserving love and appreciation. She said that she thought Daddy was the most wonderful husband a woman could have and that she was very glad we had him as a father. And I asked her how she could do it, love them both, and how they could stand it. And she said, ‘Love is not a pie, honey. I love you and Ellen differently because you are different people, wonderful people, but not at all the same. And so who I am with each of you is different, unique to us. I didn’t choose between you. And it’s the same way with Daddy and Bolivar. People think that it can’t be that way, but it can. You just have to find the right people.’ And then she shut her eyes for the afternoon.

From “Love Is Not A Pie,” a short story by Amy Bloom about a woman coming to understand her parents’ relationship with their friend Bolivar.

Yeah, she pretty much nails it from where I stand.