Dear Miranda Kerr,

I’m sorry, but the nothing that we have between each other can no longer continue. The deep emotional void that I once shared with you has now redirected itself, and the empty space that I loved so much has been filled (by even more nothingness). I have fallen in ____ with Cara Delevingne, the wonderful (maybe) freaky (perhaps) vivacious (who knows? not me) love-child of Lindsay Lohan and Linda Blair.

I hope that this does not come as too much of a indifference, but I know that Orlando Bloom will love you with just as much lack.

Brian J K Regan, attorney and cop and friend

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s