Racoon Attacks Kitchen!!

The tale of Raccoon Willie is a classic, and I can never remember what to search when I want to remind myself of that. Well no more. It is immortalized. Until I delete my blog out of shame

GIRLS ARE PRETTY: Fist-Bump Forever Day!


You and your buddy Greg are best friends and you always have been best friends and last night you both died in a car wreck. Your wives just found your wills.

“Greg’s will has a weird request,” Greg’s widow tells your widow.

“Oh God, his too?” your widow tells Greg’s widow.

You and Greg, in a…

Ever since the Daily What got bought up and neutered, Tumblr has felt empty. I suppose most blogs built on one idea (Depressed Copywriter, Corporate Twits) dry up once the excitement’s past but it’s weird to realize how little popular writing there is on the network (unless I’m missing something). There’s always Coke Talk/Dear Coquette as a well of snark and self-actualization, and comedian tumblrs like Megan Amram’s or Rob Delaney’s scarce longform pieces, but it’s rare to see someone writing daily humor fiction on Tumblr and, also, anywhere on the Internet.

Girls Are Pretty Forever isn’t always amazing. But it is a singular voice with a cynical, distinct style, and I wake up and it’s always there. Not to mention that it does often hit the mark, as it does in this offering about bros from a few days back.

Whatever day it is, have a good one!

GIRLS ARE PRETTY: Fist-Bump Forever Day!

Following up on my Trayvon Ranting

Today I went back to the same Facebook status and joined up with some folks who were still debating on the same side as me, but politely. I provided two papers that show evidence of inequality between white and black folks alongside some magazine thinkpieces someone else had linked. One of the guys I was yelling at told us that he had no idea the professional/wealth gap between races was so imbalanced and he thanked us. The other two dudes just melted away into the shadows.

Maybe that’s the technique— enter like a raging lunatic to show that I’m passionate and trigger the other side’s smug superiority complex, then suddenly become eloquent and rational after a quick apology. Plus maybe looking wildly uneven will scare off the weaker-willed. idk lol just talkin to ppl on FB!