I’m hitting up at least one open mic tonight. My first performance in Los Angeles.

I don’t think I’m gonna do it yet, but one stand-up bit that I’ve come up with in the past few months (pun intended) follows the logic that, if you like home-made porn, there’s a good chance that you’ve masturbated to a dead person by now. But you don’t see her as dead, so in a way, you’re remembering her in a more perfect way than even her own family. It’s kinda sentimental, but, y’know, I’m just a big softie. (The idea didn’t come from the picture above, I just found it last week and liked the feeling of seeing my joke happening in real life).

And then since I doubt anyone else will find the humor in something so dark and gross and real I pre-empted y’all’s response with the second image. I have a few friends who have deleted their Facebooks, and it’s always funny when I’m told that, actually, nobody cares about what I posted even though it looked like someone did. And on the rare occasions that multiple since-deleted friends engaged me in conversation, I look like a crazy person carrying on a looooong conversation with myself. (ALL I’M SAYING IS THAT IT’S RUDE MAGGIE AND ANGELA)

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