All that really needs to be said about covfefe

Here’s two people I know in actual real life, tweeting within two hours of each other, and I don’t know why I can’t get over the organic unoriginality of instantaneous internet content. It’s not anyone’s fault. Do I just follow too few people? Has everyone else accepted the overlap as the cost of doing business, and they scroll by the repeats on their feed without registering the trespass? I feel like I’m the only one complaining about it. Which is a fitting torture, come to think of it. It sure as hell doesn’t make me feel smart or special.

damn fine covfefe

Oh, it’s “ironic” that Ariana GRande’s tour and album are titled Dangerous Woman?

ironic? Ariana Grande on the front page of every paper, more “””Dangerous””” than ever before, this coming from a woman who rose to fame on “””””?”””””VICTORIOUS”*”*”””” . And it was just some recent year ago she was filmed licking public DONUTES (our national foodstuff/pastime) and howling how she hates america. wake UP sheeple!!!!!!

“Ark: Survival Evolved – NEVER set the poop interval to ‘0’!!”

Here’s a clip from a game about survival in a world of dinosaurs. There are no dinosaurs in this video. This is what happens when you break the game into thinking you are pooping every possible moment that poop can be allowed.

I’m surprised this doesn’t draw the attention of nearby dinosaurs who wish to bear witness to this poor wretch, but so be it.

【TAS】バグったハイパーオリンピックインアトランタ【ニコ動コメ付き】

It’s gonna be tough to prep you for this one.

The 17 minute video is a TAS of a video game for the 1996 Atlanta (!!!) Olympics. “TAS” stands for “Tool-Assisted Speedrun,” though this particular video has little to do with speed. Where many speedruns are attempts to complete games as quickly as possible, tool-assisted ones are played frame-by-frame using special software in order to ostensibly complete the game in a perfect fashion.

But this is more of a glitch showcase, played frame-by-frame to break the game by means of inhuman inputs (for instance: hitting a button six thousand times in one second). The resulting spaz-out by the game is the entertaining part. Athletes completing freestyle swim races half in the fetal position, half floating above the pool dancing victoriously. Hammer throws that hit the back fence and are recorded as flying 500 ft, smashing all world records. Post-competition celebrations that entail tumbling endlessly, out of the arena, hurdling phantom hurdles into eternity.

Meanwhile, the video is ripped from its original source, the Japanese website Nico Nico Douga. Which is basically Youtube, except comments fly across the screen depending on when they’re typed & placed. In case it serves as guidance: “wwwwww” is laughter. The red text is placed by the video creator.

Okay, hey, that wasn’t as bad as I thought! What’s bad is that I enjoy this.

Muki, “Sassaparilla”

My favorite moment each week is when my “To Listen” playlist quite obviously flips from the songs dropped in from New Music Friday to the songs compiled for my Discover Weekly. You end up going from Coldplay or Keith Urban to something like this computer pop future angel.

Terror Jr., “Caramel”

It’s like I’ve said for years: why should the Tori Amos types and black metal bands lay claim to all lyrics containing the word cervix? No more. We need all the in-your-face bumpable shiz referring to lady anatomy that we can get. And deserve.

“Between October [2016] and March, the U.S. Office of Government Ethics received more than thirty-nine thousand public inquiries and complaints, an increase of five thousand per cent over the same period at the start of the Obama Administration.”

Fantastic quote from this article because it suggests only two reasons for the situation:

  1. Trump’s opposition is way smarter at using every possible political avenue than Obama’s opposition.
  2. Trump is a uniquely awful president.