Senate Select Committee on Intelligence – March 30, 2017

I’m starting to think that nobody on Trump’s team colluded with Russia to win the election. Flynn and everything else that’s been dredged up is just what happens when a special investigation begins its Hungry Hungry Hippo-ing of everyone involved (the obvious example being the inquiry into Whitewater resulting in Bill Clinton’s eventual blowie impeachment and the conviction of several of Clinton’s associates for unrelated crimes).

It looks more like Russia tampered with the election in Trump’s favor and he didn’t find out until after he won. At which point he was like “oh no, once this gets out we’ll hold a do-over election and I’ll lose.”

This makes his current panic SO much funnier. He’s bumbling around, trying to get people to ignore something that wasn’t even his fault, and it just incriminates him further.

“Comey, please, god, can we just move past this Russia thing? I didn’t ask for it. It’d be so much simpler this way.”
[Later, Comey testifies that Trump is the Manchurian Candidate]
“No, dammit, ughhhh.”

“J-J-Jeffy, I can’t catch a break! Everyone’s so mean! A-weh-waaaaah~!”
[Later, a senator asks Jeff Sessions if the President has ever discussed Russia with him]
“It is longstanding Justice Department policy not to comment on privileged communications, be they tantrums, anxieties, or sobbing fits.”

Trump landed in some truly Hades-level personally-tailored torture here. The self-made mogul doesn’t actually deserve the credit for his greatest achievement, and his unwillingness to accept this will ruin his family’s name for all history. I shudder at the perfection.

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