While pulling a beer from my fridge, I looked at my cat and said “Poncey: it’s on-cey.” We’ve been roommates for four years and I’ve never said this before. It was right there all along.

Leaving work today, the housekeeper saw me off with a “Goodbye, be careful!” as she usually does. But before the door closed, I heard “Brian!” And turned back.
“Be careful of, ah-…” She tried to find the words. And she did.
“Beautiful women!”
I told her she had nothing to worry about, they weren’t a threat to me.

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