A Vote For Biden is a Vote for Spite

There are many people who feel like our political system has failed them. “A vote for Biden and a vote for Trump are both votes for America’s status quo, and I refuse to endorse America.”

If you’ve accepted the idea that the act of voting supports the system that brought us to this brink, then you believe that voting is bad. But on the flip side, abstaining from a vote isn’t a tactic. It’s nothing. (I wrote about that angle four years ago if you feel like taking a long scroll.) Can we improve those outcomes beyond “bad” and “nothing?”

I’d like to think so! There may be other value to voting that appeals to you, one that gives you a “good” reason to vote that outweighs your guilt for doing the “bad” thing of voting.

One fun suggestion– SPITE!

Across the ideological spectrum, people hate Trump. I’m certain there are avowed neo-Nazis who say they love what he’s doing but they can tell he’s a loutish, pathetic asshole. You’d leave any conversation with him feeling bored or attacked; supporters who enjoy “him” are enjoying what he represents, Trump the Man is not enjoyable. He’s living evidence of where cruelty and money can get you. America allows a man like him to succeed, and America sucks for that, no doubt! But if we agree to handle that elsewhere, we can focus on what still feels good about voting.

Voting against Trump is the best chance you’ve got to be a dick to him. He doesn’t read Twitter replies, he doesn’t pound his fist at spying a witty protest sign on the news, you can’t get within a slap’s reach. He’s inoculated from us rando Americans saying “hey buddy fuck you.”

My voting history is all over the place– no need to delve into it here, rest assured I made brilliant decisions you’d have no choice but to respect. One of several reasons (again, all genius) that I’m voting for Biden is that I really love the idea of Trump losing!

Election Night 2020: Trump is down by 15% on what polls suggested, and that gap is expanding. The writing is on the wall. New York prosecutors are going to drop indictments on his entire family on January 21. He’s the biggest loser in world history, and his failure will be remembered for centuries (if we make it that far). This grand failure will be the worst thing that happens to everyone in the Trump administration, and it will stain their interpersonal relationships (it may cause bankruptcies and end marriages!), and they will never forget it. Your ICE-loving, Hannity-hooting step-father is weeping, and this is funny and pleasant.

For Trump, the plan all along was to claim the election was rigged and seize control of the country. He’s ready to announce as much to the nation. But the shame and humiliation of the night, peaking in that moment, leads to a greater stress than he’s ever experienced: he has to run the country knowing that even with all his cheating and rancor, 70% of America hates him. Anticipating his next four days, four weeks, four years, raises his heart rate. His blood pressure spikes, neurons are demanded to fire faster than his atrophied brain will allow; from his election war room, following in the esteemed Dr. Ron Paul’s footsteps, he strokes out on live Fox News. Dead within minutes.

It’s fantastical, but it’s one outcome on an infinite scale that is made ever more possible by your vote. This scenario can happen, the numbers for a 70/30 win are there, just turn out enough “fuck you” votes and suppress enough “I love race war” votes. And then we can all agree that Trump’s body is one mistimed hiccup from shutting down.

If you’re blackpilled, a doomer, if you don’t see how we make it through climate change regardless of this November: you can still make the people who did this to us feel bad. You can punish your enemies. How often do you get that opportunity?

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