Florida Georgia Line, the most popular band you’ve never heard of and the purveyors of perfect country-pop jam “Cruise” (a tune I’ve highlighted before), drop by Madison Square Garden. Even Gawker-pedigree snark can’t hold in the face of these faces:
The Onion – “Christ, Article A Video”
I was so confused about what the title was saying, but once I got it, I was at home.
except the part where the interviewees relent: fuck a video, words are faster and less boring
A yearlong investigation of Greek houses reveals their endemic, lurid, and sometimes tragic problems—and a sophisticated system for shifting the blame.
Everyone’s falling off frats. Seriously, let’s get away from hazing and sexual assault and build some railings for these kiddos (or do away with the system completely???¿?¿?). Especially considering how little the national organization will cover the costs of laundering the blood out of your letterman jacket.
The Dark Power of Fraternities
Couples can be happier now than ever before. But it’s rare.
The hierarchy of needs strikes again! For better or worse, til death do we part.
The All-or-Nothing Marriage
Michael Schofield thought his young daughter, Janni, was a genius, until he realised her bright mind masked an inner darkness.
I read this article once a few months ago. Read it all the way through again. Feels like it deserves to be shared if it grabbed me so hard. Ever wondered where the medieval idea of demonic possession came from?
Edge of the abyss
The real, PG-13ish version.
“There used to be this group of fans who liked to camp outside our apartments in New York, and about a year ago, one of them asked us for a photo in the morning, and I said hi to him, and later that night, he was outside a restaurant that we had gone to with some friends. That was not cool. It felt like he was following us. So we all got in the car and he runs up, yelling through the window, “Can I get your picture? Please please please?” I said, “Look, man, I’m usually nice to you about this, but we’re just having a night to ourselves, and if you can respect that, I’d really appreciate it.” He started bawling and ran off to his friends. Two days later, it’s in the tabloids that I was rude to a fan and made him cry and laughed in his face. It’s funny, because I greet a ton of fans, but the one I said no to ended up making news.”
Joe Jonas speaks candidly about his time as a member of his famous family. This passage highlights the stress that I think nearly all celebrities feel, a stress that the general populace handwaves as negligible. “You’re getting millions and record deals and girls, what’s the problem?” What’s that quote about being kind to everyone because they’re living their personal struggle? Also respect for that Lorde shout-out at the end, but Joe Jonas is (not surprisingly) making the same fatal mistake as the entire record industry: she isn’t “weird,” she’s fucking “savvy.”
Joe Jonas: My Life As a Jonas Brother
Ambien is the nation’s best-selling insomnia drug, but it can be disinhibiting and depersonalizing. (To quote from the label of a bottle of sleep medication used by Tina Fey’s character, Liz Lemon, on “30 Rock”: “May cause dizziness, sexual nightmares, and sleep crime.”) The unspoken promise of orexin antagonists, like suvorexant, a drug seeking approval from the F.D.A., is sleep without stupidity.
“Drew Fairweather, an online cartoonist, has described the phenomenon in a popular series of panels in which a walrus addresses a human companion with such suggestions as ‘Take some more Ambien and cut off all your hair, man. Let’s do this.’”
sure sure these are ridiculous drugs with way too little understanding of the side effects by the general populace but oh my god The New Yorker just canonized the Ambien Walrus
Ian Parker: The Search for a Blockbuster Insomnia Drug
Life partners need not be narrowly defined; they can be exes, children, best friends or lovers.
“This past summer I was very ill. At one point it looked as if I might not survive. But the people who were at my bedside every day at the hospital were many of my life partners: my mother, Jackson, Dan, my brother Chris and Clare.
Clare rarely left my side and called every doctor and connection she knew to help figure out what was wrong with me. It was Dan who brought our son to see me every day and kept him feeling safe in such a scary situation. It was Chris whose arms I fell into when I couldn’t get up. It was my mother who stroked my head for hours at a time. And it was Jackson who walked me through the halls with my IV and made me breathe.
Whomever I love, however I love them, whether they sleep in my bed or not, or whether I do homework with them or share a child with them, “love is love.” And I love our modern family.
Maybe, in the end, a modern family is just a more honest family.”
This whole piece is very reminiscent of one of my favorite personal essays, “Love Is Not A Pie” by Amy Bloom. Both capture how I would like to feel about the totality of my relationships; romantic, platonic, familial, otherwise. It’s one of those things that makes even people who care about and understand me well cock their head askance when I describe it.
Coming Out as a Modern Family
My first longer essayish/reporty thing for Grantland. Please enjoy.
I can’t even read this article right now and idc. I saw Sleigh Bells in Terminal 5 a year and a half ago with way more friends than I ever expected would want to see a show like that with me. It was magical, so I want to see what a pro writer can say about it.