“It Is Olivia’s Birthday: A Multimedia Retrospective”

Might as well keep the birthday rap train steaming along given that I never shared this back in October beyond texting it to Olivia (though she did post it on her Facebook wall at the time). It must be wild being my friend. Y’all are so lucky.

listen up yall got a friend named Olivia
birthday call so i’m droppin trivia
she’s way progressive to a point: shivvin ya
she’s downright quick as a fox: vivica
she’s everybody’s only favorite Quakerchic
she called me Birna and the nickname sticked
Livejournal page turna and an improv whiz
acting in plays and giving Jesse shiz
on that InstaQueen level Princess Diana
law to the lawless, reigns from Atlanta
tearin down the system with a fervor that’s rare
it’s why she hides her identity: last name Claire
and if these 27 years sound like fantasy
there’s evidence here:
it happened, a whole fam-i-ly

adopted a Gremlin one eye and tremblin
a gecko named Jucci patterned like Gucci
tattoo legend Michael ceramics gone wild
not the only pot we enjoy just a trifle
all four got that vital love always in cycle
You think you can be better than them? Try to!
party strooooong, Livvy’s worth a parade
or at least a song better than mine from 8th grade

#TBT: Mike Piel Birthday Rap.txt

I wrote this a year and a half ago and rapped it as a voicemail for my friend. It’s at least funny to me.

hey Mike Piel it’s your birthday
hope all the honeys be doin like the birds say
chirp chirp hey
yeah they be hollerin
uh oh my vocab is falterin
better try to find some other words
to share with Mike Piel cause it’s his birthday
uh hope that it’s great and eat lots of pie
shit wait I mean cake that would have rhymed
oh goddamnit where was I going
this rap is a mess and now my dick’s showing
on the sidewalk, nobody look at me
please, stop, stop it