SIMULTANE STORY RESPO

Is the opposite of a red flag just a green flag? Why don’t we have a fair opposite to “red flag?”

I don’t think we talk about green flags enough. Because reluctance is a big part of conversations about dating, right? “Yeah, she seems cool, I guess. We’ll see where things go.” I think most of the time we’re falling in love with folks who are merely Okay, like they’re hot enough for you to fear losing them but they’re just generally Acceptable, and a big part of Accepting them is the comfort that they feel similarly about you. Then the red flags are the worst bits of them, the parts that make you say “what if he’s Unacceptable though?” Thenfor fair, healthy reasonsthey’re overlooked in the hopes that they aren’t planted too deep.

But shouldn’t love be about enjoying another person and then seizing onto the qualities that push them above and beyond? When I think of the women I’ve caught feelings for, it’s because I really like them, but then they’re also blowing my mind and making me laugh with these incidental phrases and body language and thoughts. Raising green flags left and right. Sure, shit may be unrequited, but I don’t really get bothered given that I’m excited to feel anything that shoots past my amiability toward all folks.

And dashing out “simultane story respo” off-the-cuff: massive green flag. I admit there’s probably some context missing, that you don’t know her personality and, even if you do know mine, you’ve got no idea how they interplay. Too bad; this is the most erogenous DM I’ve ever received.

Everyone with an “alt” sensibility does this on OkCupid. It’s a shame because the message is supposed to be “if you’re cynical enough to appreciate this, we’re above everyone else and can connect,” when really it comes across as “I wanted to stand out, so I wrote the least original response short of ‘you’re a fun guy!’”

Like this sort of response has become more of a tool than a display of personality. Whether it’s behavior or originality, nobody wants a tool in online dating.